Stacked. Dustin Penner, beware.

Dustin Penner. You hurt your back eating pancakes? No, reaching for pancakes?  I’m not about to make fat jokes, because it’s crass and hurtful, … but for an NHL player who has historically struggled with weight and conditioning issues, this will not look good on your resume.

But when it comes to unusual injuries, I cannot wait to hear the trash-talking that emerges from this instance. Somewhere, Rick DiPietro is laughing in the team doctor’s office.

Yet, consider that strange sports injuries have happened before. Others can relate:

  • Brent Sopel, who injured his back while picking up his daughter at home.
  • Glenn Healy, who cut himself while cleaning bagpipes. (Did not know he played bagpipes, but you can watch video on YouTube.)
  • Kevin Mitchell, who strained rib muscles as a result of vomiting.
  • Sammy Sosa, who suffered back spasms after a violent sneezing episode.

On some strange level, I can relate.

Nine years ago, while laughing hysterically in my chair at work, I felt a sudden, stabbing pain in the middle of my lower back, right below my waistline. I thought the pain would go away with a yoga session and some heating pads. No. It stayed for the next two days, until I finally took myself to the urgent care clinic and was diagnosed with a muscle strain. Or muscle strains. Whatever it was, it hurt to walk. Or sit. Or sleep.

For the next three days, I was home on my back. On muscle relaxers. Watching too much bad daytime television. Quickly going out of my mind.

It will get better, trust me. Just follow the doctor’s orders and go easy on the muscle relaxers.

But pancakes? Come on, Dustin Penner. I really thought you were an eggs Benedict kind of guy.


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